One of Arizona's "Lost Boys of Sudan" on Syria and Being a Refugee

If ever there were a staple of social media (aside from selfies and photos of food), it would be the practice of super-complex world issues being distilled down to a meme.  I’ve watched the Syrian Civil War and refugee crisis get the “grumpy cat” treatment, with everyone from “Guy I went to Jr high with” to “Family member I never talk to” to “Who the fuck is this guy” weighing in on foreign and domestic policy this week on Facebook and Twitter.  I’m not going to do that. I don’t have a comprehensive understanding of the situation in Syria, and, more importantly, I am pretty sure that, in the history of the internet, nobody has ever read a Facebook post and said, “You know, he’s right. This totally changes my view on this complex hot button issue about which I feel so passionate.”  I wanted to talk about this topic, but I wanted to do it in the right way.

The news about Arizona Governor Doug Ducey joining the states that are calling for a possible stop to incoming Syrian refugees brought to mind The Lost Boys.  Of the 20,000 or so Sudanese refugees that fled Sudan’s Civil War in the 80’s and 90’s, roughly 4000 were resettled here in Arizona.  I tracked down Jany Deng, Program Director of The Lost Boys Center for Leadership Development, and asked if I could meet with him to get his take on this week’s news.

Jany Deng 

As I drove to his Central Phoenix office, I popped some ibuprofen and cursed my aching tooth.  I quickly put my stupid tooth pain in perspective.  You see, my man Jany was a “Lost Boy” - a refugee who fled his home in Sudan after his mother and father were killed in the country’s nearly three decade civil war.  He walked over 1000 miles in three months, naked and hungry, first to Ethiopia, and then eventually, to Kenya, where he arrived at a refugee camp. It was there, in his teens, that he began the arduous process of becoming a resettled refugee.  The vetting process involved more than 30 hours of interviews, conducted by the State Department, CIA, FBI and others.  Applicants were questioned and re-questioned.  “They asked me the last meal I ate before fleeing Sudan,” said Jany.  “They asked what my mother did before I left the village. They ask you random questions to make sure that the story you told in your application matches.” 

For some applicants, the process is hindered by incompetent or corrupt translators.  “After you’ve filled out the application,” Jany gestures to a stack of papers two inches thick, “some translator is sitting there and they aren’t translating.  They can screw you up. If they don’t like you they can translate incorrectly.  In some cases, refugees have to bribe the translator to make sure it’s done properly.” 

Once a refugee has completed the application and vetting process, a journey that can take a year and a half or more, they are resettled, and assigned to one of five or six major aid agencies.  They are given an unfurnished apartment and in their first month are required to find work, despite in most cases, not knowing the language in their new homes.  After 90 days, they are on their own. 

Being on their own isn’t something most Sudanese are accustomed to, because of the group-centric nature of the Sudanese culture.  If someone is mentally ill in a village in Sudan, the elders meet and decide how to work together to help their charge.  Jany told stories of people in refugee camps, which I’d always imagined as an ‘every man for himself’ type of environment, taking on children as “brothers,” so that they could exit the camps together. Isolation isn’t something that Sudanese in their native environment experience; however, post re-settlement, many refugees found the isolation crippling.  

“We had a large center, at 19^th avenue & Van Buren, to help refugees after the ninety day resettling period was over,” recalls Jany.  “Some days I would spend eight hours just listening to people talk.  We provided community and fellowship.”  The effects of debilitating isolation were deadly for Jany’s older brother Simon, who was killed by a police officer in 1997 during a confrontation at aid organization Catholic Charities during which Simon was armed.  “We didn’t know about PTSD at that time,” said Jany.  “My brother, and many of The Lost Boys, were child soldiers. Some of the people went to the front line at a young age. You see killing, you kill people, friends are killed.  I was still in high school, and was working.  My brother was isolated and having trouble.  He walked into the Catholic Charities building with a gun.  We still don’t know to this day how he got his hands on a gun. He had no money.  They called police, and over 100 officers surrounded the office.  He threatened the staff, and shot at an officer.  The police killed him instantly.  He was shot and killed there right in the office.”  Jany indicated that, with a better understanding of post-traumatic stress syndrome, the assimilation process has improved for incoming refugees.  After they’ve been resettled, however, mental health services are still lacking.

I asked Jany if he and the other Lost Boys faced persecution or a community revolt at their arrival in the days before the internet and social media gave everyone a platform to voice their opinions.  He told a story of a Payless Shoe Store employee calling the police when he and three other refugees he was helping assimilate shopped at the store she was manning alone.  “People looked at us crazy. We were so dark, and sometimes when we’d bring refugees to employers, they would just stare at us. The incoming refugees didn’t speak English.” 

The community as a whole, however, welcomed The Lost Boys with open arms, in no small part due to the easy-to-digest moniker that had been bestowed upon them in the early days of their arrival to the States.   “It was just two guys, following our story from the refugee camps to our resettling in America that gave us that name,” said Jany.  “There were refugees flooding in from everywhere, Liberia, Congo, Burundi, Afghanistan, Syria and even Russia.  Because of our name, our brand, we were the only group that people recognized and supported. We were the example, and people were watching.  I don’t know where we’d be without Bob Simon and 60 Minutes.  He told our story, and because of that and the name – that’s why we got the attention from the world that we did.”  This attention would result in countless books, movies and documentaries that told the story of the group.

Local city and state government officials were the group’s biggest supporters.  Jany was especially grateful to the City of Phoenix.  “They were our biggest supporter. They did so much for us and the other refugees.  Ann Wheat, who was a city Parks and Rec supervisor, she always brought us anything we needed.  She was able to recruit city workers to help us and our refugees.   Former Mayor Phil Gordon and former Governor Janet Napolitano came to our center, and brought pizza.”

Even now, Jany recognizes local politicians Kyrsten Sinema and Ruben Gallegos among those still trying to educate the masses about refugees.  He isn’t upset at Doug Ducey’s proclamation that he wants to halt Syrian refugees. “Of course, when you have mass migration, there are going to be bad guys, but ISIS is recruiting everywhere.  They are recruiting on the streets as we speak,” Jany gestures to the windows.  “If the governor wants to review the process, and wants to understand how people are being vetted coming into Arizona, I will stand next to him.”  It wouldn’t be the first time the influx of refugees would be interrupted by terrorism.  In 2001, after 9/11, the Lost Boys program was halted, and didn’t resume until 2004.  The process, Jany indicated, is much more stringent now, than even what he experienced in the mid-90s. 

Today, the Lost Boys Center of Arizona has transformed into The Lost Boys Center for Leadership Development, aimed at helping its local community prepare and deploy to help in the still-unstable country of South Sudan, formed in 2011 when it became independent of Sudan.  Jany is returning to his home village in two weeks for the first time in thirty years.  “Like many refugees, we send money home. I’m going there to see my sister for the first time since I left my village, and to see what I can do to help the people of South Sudan.”  The Lost Boys, for its part, was a success story, resettling countless refugees, widely documented in various writings and movies.  If hindsight is 20/20, then it’s worth viewing today’s Syrian refugee crisis and its parallels to the Sudanese Lost Boys with this narrative in the rear view. 

Jany isn’t discouraged by people’s attitudes toward refugees.  “It doesn’t matter what we have to through as a human being. It doesn’t matter if your life is upside down. Life is not perfect, no matter where you are in the world. They say America is the best country in the planet. It isn’t perfect here. We have our own crap here…whether it’s refugees coexisting…political crisis, racism. As a citizen, or a community person, we can only do the best of our ability to serve and educate others. We aren’t going to change them. We can try to educate them.” 

Jany’s optimism is infectious, and I thanked him for taking the time to meet with me, given that I’m not a member of the media, and don’t have a huge following.  “I’m nobody,” I said as I walked out the door. “If one person reads our story, and you can help educate them about refugees, you’re somebody,” he answered.

 

“Oh one last question,” I fit in at the very end.  “What do you think about our President being from Kenya?”  He laughed heartily.  “You’re so funny.” 

I’ll leave this with a quote I found during my research for this blog post, courtesy of an NPR interview with former Congressman Tom Lantos before his death in 2008. 

“Today the world's refugees have one central commonality — they are fleeing persecution. Either they have a well-founded fear of persecution at home on account of their race, religion, political opinion, nationality or membership in a social group, or they are survivors fleeing actual events of persecution on account of one of these factors. They are the most vulnerable of the millions of vulnerable people in the world. They seek refugee status because they have no choice but to seek that designation so that they and their families may survive.”

Thank you, Jany Deng, for your time and contribution to this post. 

You can find me on most social media sites as @emilyboxing

The Internet is Mad, Relationship Read, Boxing Stuff and an Easy Risotto Recipe

Three Things the Internet is Mad About This Week

I'm sure Starbucks is super sad at this

Starbucks Cups:  When I saw all the articles about people being mad about the all-red Starbucks cups, I was sort of perplexed. What people?  I have a pretty wide range of friends on my social networks and the consensus across the religious and political spectrum seemed to be "Who gives a fuck, really?"  As a Christian, I'm not offended... there are a lot of other holidays celebrated by various religions this time of year.  To say that acknowledging that is waging a 'War on Christmas' is dumb.  I couldn't sleep last night, and around 3am I decided to see who was really mad about it...it appears Donald Trump jumped on the hate train this week, but aside from a few really 'out there' folks, I couldn't really find anyone who was legit mad about it. What I did see is people talking about it, complaining about it being a thing, and people drawing various things on their red Starbucks cups. I even saw it trending on Instagram. So...  good for you, Starbucks.  Starbucks PR Team - 1, News Alarmists - 0.  If you want to be mad at Starbucks, be mad that their hot chocolate tastes like an asshole. Like really, Starbucks. How do you screw that up? 

Seriously guys

Decorating too early:  Holy crap do people get mad about this. I lost count of the "OMG HALLOWEEN IS BARELY OVER WHAT ABOUT THANKSGIVING WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS UP" Facebook posts I saw over the last couple weeks. Relax folks.  The nice thing about the holidays is that the grocery stores put the egg nog and whiskey right next to each other, right at the front of the store. Grab some, throw on some Thanksgiving music, and enjoy your holiday demarcation.  Head on over to Nordstrom, even, and do some shopping, as they have drawn the line on decorating before Thanksgiving. Whatever you do, don't come to my place. My boyfriend has already constructed a miniature holiday scene in our living room.  


Trump on SNL:  Donald Trump hosted SNL last Saturday amid protests and calls for the show's cast to boycott.  Some people promised never to watch the show again.  John Leguizamo even got in on the action.  I'm all for a Trump pinata, and have no beef with folks protesting and boycotting the show.  As with most controversy (see Starbucks above), it worked in Trump and SNL's favor, as the show saw its highest ratings in years.  I don't know how you bring attention to your cause without actually helping your target get a ratings bump.  Somebody get on that. 


Great Relationship Article

My friend Gabriel Montoya posted this article on Twitter yesterday.  The tl;dr, for those of you who want a preview, is that there was a study done among happy couples and divorced/unhappy couples that tried to determine why each group was in the state that it was.  Basically, the happy couples were better at being kind...not just in every day gestures, but in acknowledging their partners' words, interests, desires, etc.  It sounds simple, but it really opened my eyes to some shortcomings I have in my own relationship. It's a great read, and has applications for any relationship, not just romantic ones.  Check it out here:  Lasting Relationships Rely on Two Traits

Boxing Stuff

• This Thursday, Top Rank Boxing will host a press conference in Tucson, Arizona, to announce its December 12th card, promoted in association with Iron Boy Boxing, and featuring Oscar Valdez and Jose Benavidez, Jr. in separate bouts. Media, contact me for information.
• Brandon Rios announced his retirement after his fight versus Timothy Bradley Saturday. I would be remiss not to thank Brandon for all he's given to boxing and its fans, both inside the ring and out. Best of luck, Brandon.  

Easy Risotto Recipe

This risotto is adapted from Julia Child's Risotto recipe in The French Chef Cookbook.  Julia Child is, by far, one of my favorite cookbook authors.  This was one of the first cookbooks I owned. I bought it at an antique store in Globe, Arizona, and when I got home, I was jazzed to find that the previous owner had left some newspaper clippings of Child's recipes in the book. The one pictured here is from 1972.  One of the philosophies I loved of Julia Child's is this idea that cooking for your friends and family is a way of loving them. Spending the time it takes to make appetizers and different courses, and to set the table nicely...that's a way of showing love.  Don't be afraid to jump in in the kitchen.... I made several recipes from this book over the years... it's a classic...everything is explained in detail.  This risotto  goes great with my Greek style salmon as well.   Anyway, on to the recipe: 

You'll need
1c short (or medium) grain rice
2c chicken broth (the yellow chicken stock box works great. Don't know the brand name offhand). 
1/4 white onion, grated
2TBS butter
Herbs de Provence (in spice section)

Melt butter over med high heat in sauce pan
Add onion, sautee til soft
Add rice, mix til grains turn clear, then white again (keeps rice from sticking)
Add chicken broth and 1tsp herbs de Provence
Bring to a boil
Cover and reduce heat to med low
Cook 18 mins






Okay bye

On a serious note, the holidays are a really tough time for some people. They used to be for me.  Some people don't want your dumb Christmas cheer in their faces, and I get that. If you need to talk someone, talk to me, talk to a neighbor, talk to a counselor.  You're absolutely not alone in struggling this time of year. It can be pretty shitty for some people.  Hugs <3

You can find me on most social media platforms as @emilyboxing.

Goodbye (for now) Paz Cantina, Return of "Hollywood," and the Chicago debut of Irish Medalist John Joe Nevin

Goodbye Paz Cantina .....for now. 

Photo by Lauren Saria / Phoenix New Times

I don't know that I would be writing this if Paz Cantina, located at 3rd st & Roosevelt in Phoenix, were just planning to celebrate its first birthday on Saturday. While that is on deck for the weekend, the taco spot, which has hosted luchadors, ping pong tournaments, gallery showings, charity pig roasts, and countless fundraisers (to the tune of $58,000 raised over the last year), will shut its doors Sunday, just one year and one day after its opening. The closure is temporary, as a developer revamps the corner into apartment homes.  Thanks to the community, though, there will be a place for Paz Cantina in the new development.  

When Michael Reyes, owner of the self-described "modern taqueria," opened the doors, he knew the clock was ticking, and that the landowner had plans to sell the prime spot.  Where some people would have walked away, Reyes, drawn by the energy of the corner in the heart of the downtown Phoenix art district, decided to make a run at his own concept.  "I had opened 46 restaurants for other people," said Reyes. "46 restaurants!  It took a toll on me physically.  I was always their Mexican. The guy that did the work.  I learned, though.  I reaped my payment in education."  

I met Michael Reyes in May of this year, when Jose Benavidez, Jr. defended his title for the first time here in Phoenix.  What struck me is Reyes' obvious commitment to his community.  After moving to Phoenix from Texas twelve years ago, Reyes experienced an epiphany of sorts and "killed his ego," as he described it. He committed to becoming more selfless and community-oriented. When we talked in May, he expressed his desire to help the boxing community however he could.  This weekend, he opens his restaurant's doors to the Arizona State Silver Gloves Championships.  "It's sort of selfish, doing these things.  I like boxing because my father liked boxing. I went to watch the Golden Gloves and pay-per-view events my whole life. Selfishly there's a little motive in there. They are nostalgic for me. Both my parents are gone. Doing these events for the community helps remind me of where I came from ...remembering all the carne asadas we had for boxing events at our house, which were always epic." 

Photo by John Samora / The Republic

"Why Paz," I asked Reyes, who shared the personal story that led to the simple and enduring name.  It came during a particularly tumultuous time in his life, where he and his wife had been, for all intents and purposes, robbed in an investment scam.  Reyes sought comfort in the word "Peace," the epitome of all he wanted in his life.  He wrote down the word in Spanish and was inspired by its simplicity and message.  I asked Reyes if he is more at peace these days. "I am definitely at peace...the support of our hard work from the community is evident.  It's so assuring, so warm.  They 're telling us 'you did good and we're going to support you and be here'."  I don't think the community's support is misplaced, as Reyes has made it his mission to support "little brown organizations," as he calls them, even including community in Paz Cantina's mantra:  "Cultura, Comunidad and Comida."  

On the morning of Monday, November 9th, I'll be thinking of Michael Reyes, who has been up early for over a year, building a taco shop so beloved in its community that local voices swayed the developers to allow Paz to re-open in the same spot. He shared that he thinks Monday will be a more difficult start than Sunday morning, after waking early for so long, tired, but eager to put in work at his creation.  After speaking with Reyes, I have a feeling Monday morning will likely see him still up early, working on artwork or the menu for his new mobile truck, Paz to the People, that will serve the community during the development.  The new concept will include new world flavors, and will continue Reyes' commitment to the community, including artwork promoting the "Rock the Vote" movement that is close to his heart.  

If you're in the Phoenix area, make sure to visit Paz Cantina this weekend for the Silver Gloves to enjoy some local amateur boxing, and see the amazing murals that adorn the exterior of Paz, painted by some of Phoenix's most talented street artists, before they're gone forever.    

Goodbye Paz...for now. 

Special thanks to Michael Reyes for your time, and to Ralph Velez for the introduction.

Boxing Notes

- Sent a press release this week for Hitz Boxing about Mike "Hollywood" Jimenez's return to the ring in Chicago on November 25th. Hollywood (this is how he is in my phone which causes me to ask for his number every time I work on his fights because I think I don't have it...but I digress) is coming off of a KO win in Australia.  Just before that he fought on the Pacquiao-Mayweather undercard versus Jesse Hart.  One thing promoter Bobby Hitz mentioned today was the fact that Hollywood didn't go mope around after his loss to Hart...he got right back into camp and was ready when he was offered a fight in Australia, where he'd gone as a sparring partner.




- I'm working on some press for John Joe Nevin, who also fights on the Hitz card in Chicago.  Nevin won the Silver Medal as an Olympian for his home country of Ireland.  He's now here in the states, and will be very busy over the next year, since signing with Cameron Dunkin. If you've followed fellow Dunkin signee Ed Brown since May, you'll have an idea just how busy the Irish prospect will be.  Brown, by the way, also fights on the Hitz card November 25th.  I guess what I'm saying is... you probably want to hit up that show if you're in the Chicago area on Thanksgiving Eve.  21 years & older. 

- I'm excited about a new project I'm working on - the launch of a new promotional outfit (not based in Phoenix, for anyone wondering).  We're working on logo and web design now, and I hope to be able to share info on it very soon.  This is some exciting stuff. 

- I hope Rios knocks Tim Bradley's ungrateful block off. That's all I'll say on that topic.

Okay bye. 

You can find me on most social media platforms as @emilyboxing.

A Correction, Digging Deep, Aztec Mud Mask and My Greek-style Salmon Recipe

Correction

I want to start this blog off with a correction. In my October 26th blog post, I complained about Caitlyn Jenner being named Glamour Magazine's Woman of the Year.  There were memes about it (something like even men are better at being women blah blah), and I am annoyed at myself for reading outraged tweets and just hopping on the outrage train (choo choo!).  As it turns out, Caitlyn Jenner was named ONE of Glamour Magazine's WOMEN of the year.  She wasn't even like the main one.  Reese Witherspoon will be on the cover of Glamour for her work in starting a production company that produces movies with female roles to help lessen the gender gap in Hollywood.  There were several wonderful women, doing wonderful things, and I feel the need to get on the record and say that I clearly spoke without knowing what the fuck I was talking about. So there you go. If you're interested in learning more about some of the honorees, you can check out an article about them here.  

Fun fact:  I was in Glamour magazine, along with some other people, like eight years ago because I had written in that their skin cancer issue had prompted me to get a mole checked out that turned out to be pre-cancerous. 

Digging Deep

The diet/workouts are good.  It's a pain in the ass, obviously, but I gotta do it.  I'm proud to say that I'm down seven pounds, so I only have like a million left to go. Super doable. I just wanted to share a moment I had this week... I was at the gym, and Coach Cesar had separated me from the other girls because a) there were nine of us, and it was a partner exercise and b) I'm, frankly, too fat to do what they were doing.  He had me do an alternate exercise, and I had a moment.  Like a mini pity party..."What the fuck did I do to myself? How did I let this happen?" This led to tears while I laid on the floor and did butt raises for my hamstrings... nobody could tell because I was all red, sweaty (and, I'm sure, very attractive)....it was my moment.  I thought about telling the story to my pre-teen daughter, and how I wanted to end... and I decided to suck it up.  In a few months, I'll be there with the other girls.  I was doing something to change it.  I think the first time I lost weight, my motivation was my looks, frankly. This time, it's about the example I'm setting for those little girls, and the reward at the end. I'm very motivated by all the support I'm getting from my amazing boyfriend, who compliments my hard work every day, and all my friends, online and otherwise.   The folks at Peraza Boxing Gym are amazing as well. I have met a couple of really nice people who are making changes, and it's inspiring to see them there every day working. 

This was that day.

Mini-Review:  Amazon Mud Mask

Super quick thoughts on the Aztec Mud Mask that an estitician I saw recently suggested.  You get it from Sprouts, or it's online at Amazon.   I have issues with acne, so per her suggestion, I tried this mask (mixed with unfiltered Bragg brand apple cider vinegar, also available at Sprouts). It's fuckin amazing. My skin has completely changed in just a week. I have used it twice.  Check it out if you've got problem skin. There are a billion(ish) reviews on Amazon as well. The packaging is sketchy as hell, I know.  This shit gets everywhere. It's messy, but worth it. Also, don't put it down your sink. It will clog it. (Sorry Louis)






My famous (among my like two friends who have tried it) Greek-style salmon

Greek Seasoning

This a super easy recipe that tastes good, and people usually seem to be pretty jazzed when they eat it. 

You'll need:
4 pieces of Salmon, cut into serving slices and skin removed (the butcher at any store will do this for you. He or she will give you a dirty look, but they'll do it, and you don't have to get all gross trying to do it yourself).
1 lb of feta
1 roma tomato
1/2 c extra virgin olive oil
Greek seasoning (Cavender's. Photo over there --->)

Forgive the Snapchat caption

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees (I remembered this week. Gold star for me)

Use a pastry brush and brush the bottom of a 13x9 pan with olive oil.  Lay your salmon inside.  Yell at your kids. Take a gulp of wine. (this isn't exact...just how it usually goes when I do it).  

Brush the salmon with olive oil, and sprinkle the salmon with your greek seasoning.  Add a slice of feta about 1/8-1/4 inch thick on the salmon.  Brush the feta with olive oil, and sprinkle the greek seasoning.  Throw a couple of thin slices of your roma tomato on top of each piece (mostly for looks).  Brush with olive oil, sprinkle with greek seasoning.  You're done. Super easy prep.

Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.  In two weeks I'll share my risotto recipe...it goes great with the salmon. 



Okay bye. 


You can find me on most social media platforms as @emilyboxing.

Workouts, AA, Yusaf Mack and Spanakopita

Diet

I mean, I guess it's going well. My eating has been on point, and yesterday I got in two miles at the track and a 45 min boot-camp style workout at Peraza Boxing Gym. One thing I don't want to do here is become one of those cheerleader weight loss blogs....I mean, I like them.  Don't get me wrong.  I just can't relate.  I am not on my "gym flow," and I saw a pizza emoji yesterday that made me hungry.  I gotta do this though, for my career, for my family and for myself. I love my family, but seeing them struggling with preventable health issues in their later years terrifies me.  

To AA or not to AA

I read a book many years ago called Good to Great, by Jim Collins.  It was about improving your business, but there are a few things that have stuck with me over the years.  One is this concept that, in order to improve, you have to pick up the rock and look underneath and see all the squigly bugs and things.  Through this process, I have to face the squigly things...the things that make me uncomfortable about myself and my lifestyle.  

I have a problem... I love alcohol. It's been an issue most of my adult life. I should be great at quitting, I've done it 1000 times (har har).   I can't really make a good run at this project/goal without addressing it. I have enlisted a friend, who has been sober for years, to be sort of a sponsor for me.  The kind you call when you have the desire to drink (I guess?).  I tried AA years ago and found it super depressing.  I stopped Sunday... I'm just going to try to stay stopped I guess. Have any of you dealt with this issue? What did you do?  I am new at this but I think you can comment on this blog or send me a message privately. 

Yusaf Mack

Leave Yusaf Alone! 

I watched the whole Yusaf Mack thing unfold on twitter yesterday.  I felt bad for the guy, and was glad he wasn't on twitter.  If you don't know the story, Yusaf Mack, former professional boxer, was in some gay porn. Somebody stumbled upon it (probably looking for gay porn), and put it out there.  He scored a front page spread on a Philly publication where he explained he was drugged, and he is an engaged "whore monger," who loves women.  First of all, who gives a fuck, really. If the guy wants to do gay porn, great. If he wants to lie about it, great.... I mean, I hear people say, "Well, if he'd just come clean..." well...he doesn't owe that to anyone.  He has a fiance, maybe he was trying to save her the embarrassment. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't. The point is, that I certainly don't.  My second point is that I would do unspeakable things to make sure my children were fed and sheltered.   This guy has ten kids. TEN KIDS. I struggle with three. You know something I would do to feed my kids? Gay porn. Gay porn that is discovered by everyone who cheered me on and kissed my ass when I was successful, and then I'd deal with the onslaught of the internet and the shunning by my friends and family. $4500 buy a lot of meals and pays the mortgage.  So go on, Yusaf.  Be your best self.  You don't owe anyone shit. 

Spanakopita

Last, but not least, I promised to share my spanakopita recipe for Matthew Swain.  I  don't really use measuring tools for everything so bear with me. 

Most important:  Respect the phyllo.  Don't think that you can take the phyllo dough out of the freezer one minute late and that you will be able to use it.  Phyllo is sold in the freezer section.  Take it out and put it on your counter 2 hours or more before you plan on using it.  My first phyllo experience ended in tears. 

You'll need
For the filling:
1.5-2 bags fresh, washed spinach (feel it out - I use about a bag and a halfish)
1/3c yellow onion, grated
1 small white onion, chopped
1tbsp dried dill
.5 c heavy cream
5 eggs
Like a handful of chopped fresh parsley
.5 c melted butter
1lb feta, crumbled 
Salt & pepper to taste

For the pie:
1 package phyllo dough
.5c olive oil
.5c butter

Mix all the filling stuff together.  (Can you tell at this point I have never written down a recipe?)

For the pie, grab a 13x9 cake pan and brush the botton and inside sides with oil.  (Duh, of course the inside sides. Like you'd do the outside sides).  Lay two sheets of phyllo next to each other so that they cover the bottom of the pan and sort of hang off all the sides.  Brush the phyllo with your oil and butter mixture (oh yeah, mix those two together. I am awesome at this).  

Holy crap. Heat the oven - 350 degrees. I totally spaced it. 

Okay... basically repeat the whole laying down phyllo and brushing it with the oil/butter mixture until you have a good bottom/side crust. It's a little less than half the package of phyllo.  Take your filling and put it inside, and spread it around until it's flat.  Then take the sides that are hanging off the pan and fold them over onto the filling. It won't cover the filling probably.  Brush the phyllo edges. By this time you've noticed how dried out the phyllo gets. You gotta do this part kinda quickly. No pressure.  Repeat the laying of phyllo/brushing with oil/butter thing til you have a nice top crust.  You'll still have phyllo left and if your kids are around, give them a sheet or two to eat. Then clean up all the crumbs it makes. 

Score the top few layers of phyllo with a sharp knife to make cutting easier for serving.  Flick some drops of water across the top.  

Bake for an hour at 350.  Give it about 20 mins to get itself together when you've taken it out of the oven. Then eat it... and tell me about it because I'm hungry and would love to live vicariously through you. 

The end. 


You can find me on most social media platforms as @emilyboxing.

Neat Moments, Showtime Event Recap & Day 1 of my Diet

There have been a few moments over the course of my career in boxing where I realized it was time to stop, take a breath, and take it in.  I had one this weekend so I thought I'd share the top three that came to mind today. 

1.  Ray Beltran:  "I have been waiting my whole career for this."  

I have known Ray since probably 2007.  I was training at Central Boxing Gym in Phoenix, and we became friends.  When I got more involved in the business, I began working with him.  In April, 2014, he was coming off a devastating robbery in Scotland, where the judges inexplicably scored his one sided beat-down of Ricky Burns as a draw.  He faced, and had beaten Arash Usmanee on the undercard of Pacquiao-Bradley II.  I was there in the dressing room, not doing anything particularly useful, aside from taking photos of him for his social media account. 

After the main event, we were due at the post-fight presser, and security got together about twelve guys to rush us over there, all holding on to one another... it was crazy, all the fans trying to take photos and grab Ray. We took some underground tunnels so we could make the presser on time. 

After the presser, security asked if he wanted to go underground to get back to his hotel room...Ray looked at the guy and said "No, I've waited my whole career for this," and we made the trek back to the MGM Signature upstairs as a big crowd surrounded Ray. I kept getting pushed back so I grabbed a couple photos and took a moment to enjoy watching it all unfold. He was so happy, and as his friend I was happy for him.  

2.  "Put in your notice."  

I worked a day job the first four or so years I was involved in boxing.  It was tiring, frustrating, and difficult on my family. One day I threw up my hands, lamenting the sacrifices I'd made for what seemed like nothing. I had worked for Iron Boy for a couple years, and had been helping Cameron Dunkin for a while, but it wasn't quite enough to leave... 

I was in Las Vegas for a fight of Junior's in March 2014, and I got the call. "Put in your notice."  I had finally been able to make the transition from a boxing part-timer to a full time boxing person.  It isn't easy, and there has been a steep learning curve, but I'm learning from some of the best in the business.  I literally had a 'pinch me' moment. Like...wait, am I dreaming this?  I said something stupid like this to Jose and the other Team Benavidez folks that were at restaurant we were eating at when I got the call. 


And that brings us to this weekend...

3. Showtime Boxing in Phoenix

Anyone who knows me knows that I see Iron Boy Boxing as my baby. This past Friday night, we wrapped up our third show in 28 days (doesn't sound like a big deal but we have a small staff, and it was a rough month) with a Showbox: The New Generation event at Celebrity Theatre. It was a co-promotion with Roy Jones Jr. Boxing and Greg Cohen Promotions (who were all a pleasure to work with).  It was kind of a tough night.  We had some snafus with some media seats that were sold, and there were new rules and procedures with working with Showtime for the first time.  Right before 'go live,' there was a rush to get a bunch of stuff done.   I had this moment down in the Celebrity Theatre green room... I felt like my nine year old when she has a caffeine crash.  I felt stressed and overwhelmed and started to feel a little emotional.  I'm a cryer. It was 7:30 p.m. and I looked up at the TV monitor as the Showbox broadcast began, and there were Steve Farhood and Raul Marquez...there, in between them on the corner post and on the rope covers, was the Iron Boy logo.  I checked my phone and a couple friends texted and tweeted that they saw it...and I took that moment... I teared up a little and felt proud that we'd reached another milestone. I wasn't going to have that moment alone...Johnny Murato walked in and when he asked if I was okay, I made a little fool out of myself trying to explain myself, but whatever. I am who I am. 

I have been sort of wondering what would be next in my career boxing wise, and now I know. I have a one year plan... and you'll see it all unfold here. The next step in the plan requires that I get back in shape, so I begin once again the arduous task of losing weight. I'm trying to have a good attitude about it, since, even if my plan doesn't work out, it's something I need to do anyway for my family. I started the diet today...meeting with the trainer and another person who will be helping me tomorrow.  I guess I don't feel ready to let that cat out of the bag yet. Maybe later. 

One last and final thought in this super way too long blog post:

I am more annoyed at Caitlyn Jenner being named Glamour's woman of the year than I am about Rhonda Rousey being on the cover of Ring.  That being said, I don't feel strongly enough about either to take a lot of time explaining it or arguing it.  Maybe I'll make a list of more suitable women of the year... I don't know.  

Have a great rest of your Monday. 

I guess when I decided to start a blog, I didn't know about what I'd be writing.  A woman working in the boxing industry? A mother of a teen and two girls about to hit tweenhood?  A big girl trying to get some weight off?

It's a Wednesday morning, and I'm sitting on my patio, working for the first time since we over-hauled our back yard with proclamations about doing everything outside aside from sleeping. This was months ago... but the weather finally allows it.

And as I sit here, I'm reeling.  I got a call last night that could change my life completely.  I can't really share the details, but what I can share are some of the major changes I'll have to make over the next year to put things into motion.  So I guess that's what I'll share here... those changes, and the journey that will end (hopefully) with.... well...we'll get to that eventually I guess.

In the mean time, it's fight week...we have an event in two days and I don't have an opponent for my 112-115 lb kid.  It's a constant struggle, every time he fights. There are only a handful of guys his size in the US and at any one time you've got one out of the gym, one who can't get out of work, a few that won't fight him and a few the commission won't approve.  Today we'll focus on possibly rematching a kid that he had a tougher time with.  Clock is ticking.